Boundries, as described by the “Yellowstone” Family

Recently I was in a lull for shows to watch. Naturally, I kept hearing people talk about Yellowstone which then led me to begin Season 1. I’m an overachiever because I’m all the way to Season 4. Watching this show I couldn’t help but think about all the family dynamics I was seeing as well as the completely totally and insanely unhealthy behavior and patterns this family had.

The boundaries in this family y’all. Yikes. The entire family has triangled in the ranch in order to avoid having healthy relationships with each other. They also have diffused boundaries with their father. In families with diffused (enmeshed) boundaries, members of a family have almost no independence or differentiation from each other. That’s clearly a problem in the Dutton family. Everyone’s emotionally reactive because there aren’t clear boundaries.

Clear boundaries create an environment in which people feel comfortable sharing their thoughts and feelings. It allows each member of the family/group to feel their own feelings and support one another without being over-involved. These are the gold standard for boundaries, clearly outlined expectations, a healthy amount of differentiation, and empathy for one another. I think the only people I saw with clear boundaries in this show were Rip and Beth, oddly enough because I have a lot of thoughts about Rip and Beth with their other relationships!

Rigid boundaries are the opposite of diffused boundaries. Rigid boundaries do not leave any space for emotional expression or communication. I originally thought that was the problem on the Dutton ranch, but then I remembered anger, frustration, fear, those are all emotions, and there are PLENTY of those in the show. A prime example of a rigid boundary in the show is the relationship between Kayce and his wife Monica. They really only seem to show emotion through sex, and other than that there isn’t a lot of space for emotional processing. They could have anxious/avoidant attachment styles, which you can read about in this blog.